Three Poems

Home

The homeless are blooming like roses
On every corner on Broadway.
I am unclean.
I bathe in their tears.

The homeless are popping like pimples.
They’re a little dog’s little unsheathed erection sticking out red.
It makes us passers-by sing.
Ho ho. It’s spring.

West Siders add fresh water
But feed the flowers with urine.
Sir, can you spare some change?
Can you look at me for a change?

Uncooked hamburger
Erupts when he lowers his trousers.
It’s his song.
It’s raw oozing out of a grinder.

He looks like a horrible burn from Iraq.
His wound ripples
In a hot skillet.
America doesn’t look like that.

He bends down to eat garbage.
I bend down with a bag to clean up after the dog.
I take the shit out of the bag
And stuff it back up inside the dog

And sew the anus closed,
And put the dog in a two-fifty oven to scream for three hours.
The homeless are blooming like roses.
I’m hopeless.

I bathe in their screams.
I dress for the evening.
My name is Fred Seidel,
And I paid for this ad.

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Issue 7 Correction

This superb Medvedev poem, we later discovered, was written by Bertolt Brecht.

Issue 7 Correction

The america our new president inherits bears an uncanny resemblance to our old enemy, the Soviet Union—right before it went under.

Issue 7 Correction

The injunction had once been to marry Jews. Now it is merely to masturbate to them.

Issue 7 Correction

Foreign writers are like candidates for President: it helps to have been a prisoner of war or at least poor.

Issue 7 Correction
Anonymous Hedge Fund Manager (I)
Issue 7 Correction

I’ve never seen the financial system as a whole more distressed.

Issue 7 Correction

People at the financial institutions, I think, really did start to think that because you’d spread risk, you’d eliminated risk.

Issue 7 Correction

“Gosh, things are so bad, pretty soon it’s got to spread to the real economy.”

Issue 7 Correction

Fairness has nothing to do with it.

Issue 7 Correction
On Food
Issue 7 Correction

Putting on a pair of pants is exhausting / putting on Shakespeare is exhausting in exactly the same way.

Issue 7 Correction

Only the very wealthy, she thought, can afford not to have burglar bars.

Issue 7 Correction

The web contains much of the record of that life, and in turn directs how that life is conducted.

Issue 7 Correction

Go to Uzbekistan now . . . or you will never get departmental funding ever again?

Issue 7 Correction

I’ve DJed in more than two dozen countries. What I do isn’t remotely popular in any of them.

Issue 7 Correction

These men had other aspects of their lives working; now they wanted to “solve” the woman problem.

Issue 7 Correction

Critiques of the welfare state have held a place of honor in Swedish literary fiction since the 1960s.

Issue 7 Correction

Faking adhd is a cakewalk, but the testing process is expensive.

Issue 7 Correction

Forgive me for so crassly responding to your piece by finding myself in it. But somehow I feel invited to!