Claus Peymann Buys Himself a Pair of Pants and Joins Me for Lunch


Vienna

Peymann after trying on six pairs of Zegna light summer pants in a boutique on the Graben and eventually buying the second pair and wearing them out of the store, with his old pants under his arm, walking quickly but not frantically toward the Plague Column

A pair of pants that fits
can make you feel better than anything else
don’t you think so Bernhard

Me
That is the truth

Peymann
On the one hand a pair of pants that fits
on the other hand Richard III in your head
it makes you feel good Bernhard
So all right then let’s take a little walk Bernhard
enchanted by his new pants
Trying on trying on trying on Bernhard
that’s the thing
it’s exhausting of course
with pants it’s like with The Winter’s Tale
it’s like with Leonce and Lena with pants
putting on a pair of pants is exhausting of course
putting on Shakespeare is exhausting in exactly the same way
when we put on a pair of pants it’s exhausting exactly the
same way
as when we put on Kleist or Shakespeare
When we have on a pair of pants that fits like this
a pair of pants that really sits well Bernhard
it’s the same feeling of happiness
as when we’ve brought into being
a Shakespeare that fits
a Kleist that fits
a Schiller that sits well Bernhard
stops and looks down at his new pants
They sit well sitting down too these pants
tries them out sitting down so to speak
Nice aren’t they
sit excellently
good store don’t you think
When you’re over forty
you only buy top-notch
well-fitting pants
straightens up again
Buying pants has always been a tragedy
I don’t know
is it more appalling to put on Shakespeare
or six pairs of pants Bernhard
I don’t know
This city tempts you to buy pants
They really do fit well Bernhard these pants
don’t you think
his face twisted with doubt
don’t you think

me
They fit excellently
Zegna makes the best pants
An Italian cut suits you
You have absolutely the wrong body type
for an English cut
Your body type
was made for an Italian cut Peymann

peymann
You think

me
Definitely
you look best in Zegna pants

peymann
Years back I was running around in rags

me
Forty years ago you were running around in rags
in the winter twenty-two below zero
you had nothing on but frayed jeans
and a so-called Coca-Cola cut-off
until you put on Iphigenia in Stuttgart
after Iphigenia you were suddenly very elegantly dressed
You underwent this transformation in Paris

peymann happy about his new pair of pants
Seriously Bernhard
do these pants fit

me
Clothes make the man Peymann
should I carry your old pants for you

peymann
No
nonono

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